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A Brief History of Time Measurement
Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana
Ever wondered why there are seven days in a week?
Our calendar originates from a mixture of pagan and mythical beliefs, including:
It's convenient for followers of a religion to conform to society norms, even when there's no religious connection.
For example, our way of measuring time (see hours, minutes and seconds) are based on an early Babylonian system, and our modern calendar is based on pagan practices and astrology.
But whether we have religious leanings or not, we don't think of the calendar as a pagan thing; it's merely a means to measure time, using things called 'days' and 'months'.
The days of the week are based on Greek mythology, renamed over the years to match the equivalent gods of north European mythology. (Similar names are used in other European languages, such as French, German, Italian and Spanish.)
But first, let's go back to the Egyptian astronomers who identified seven celestial bodies: Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, the Sun, Venus, Mercury, and the Moon. They believed these revolved in Heaven around a stationary Earth and twinkly stars.
Having determined these bodies were pretty mysterious and therefore important, they had little to do other than amuse themselves by sitting on the banks of the Nile, looking up at the sky to contemplate the concept of 'time'.
They divided the daylight time into 12 hours; a Zodiacally convenient number which divides cleanly by 2, 3, 4 and 6. The night time was also divided by 12, but the length of day 'hours' and night 'hours' would differ according to the season.
And we're stuck with that "base 12" system today, even though it seems more natural to use the decimal (base 10) numeral system, which is easy to count using our fingers. But the ancient astronomers were more 'scientific' and used two numeral systems: duodecimal (base 12) and sexagesimal (base 60).
They named each hour after a particular celestial body:
The 8th hour would recycle to the Saturn hour, as would the 15th and 22nd. Following this pattern, the 23rd hour would be Jupiter, the 24th Mars, and the 1st hour of the next day would be the Sun.
From this method, the first hour of each day was named after:
Each day was consecrated to the celestial body of its first hour, which has resulted not only in us having seven days a week, but also the names of those days.
The first day of a week was Saturn's day (Saturday), but on their flight from the Egyptians, the Jews changed this and made Saturday their Sabbath, the last day of the week. Christian leaders later moved observance of the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday as part of their theological and historical split from Judaism, whilst maintaining respect for the Hebrew Scriptures.
Following the Jewish day numbering system, with the last day of the week being Saturday, the first day of the week became:
Sunday: Day of the Sun
Latin: dies solis - Helios, god of the sun
Saxon: sunnandaeg - god of the heat and light ball in the sky
Sun worship has always been popular and for obvious reasons - the sun gives us the warmth and light essential for survival. Some believe that the halo seen in Christian icons, the sun-shaped Eucharist wafer contained in the Catholic monstrance, and several other instances, look very much like pagan sun worshipping.
The sun features in many national flags, most notably Argentina, Japan, Namibia and Uruguay. And like the Star Spangled Banner of the United States, national flags are often objects of worship.
 | Argentina |
 | Japan |
 | Namibia |
 | Uruguay |
Monday: Day of the Moon
Latin: dies lunae - Luna or Selene goddess of the moon
Saxon: móna - god of the light ball in the night sky, and tide maker
The Latin luna is a feminine deity, possibly because the moon takes approximately 29 days to complete its cycle and women’s menstrual cycle is generally 28 days.
However, in cultures with Teutonic, Slavonic and Arabic languages, móna is a masculine deity.
Whatever the grammatical gender, the pareidolic image of a human face of the full moon is often known as the Man in the Moon, or in East Asia, it's a rabbit with a mortar and pestle.
Incidentally, Leonardo's painting titled "Mona Lisa" in Italian is spelt as Monna Lisa. The Monna is a contraction of Madonna (Madam), whereas Mona is a vulgar Venetian term for female genitalia.
Tuesday: Day of Mars
Latin: dies martis (day of the planet Mars) - Mars or Aires, god of war
Saxon: tiwesdaeg - god of the sky, etymologically related to Zeus (see Thursday)
From the Latin martis we get the French word for Tuesday Mardi, as in Mardi Gras.
(Click the image of Mars for a really sharp close up, showing extra-fine detail of the surface.)
The Saxon tiwesdaeg reveres the god Tiwas who lived on a high mountain and guided warriors who worshipped him. If a warrior died in battle Tiw would come down to earth with his angels and take the dead warrior to heaven.
(The 22nd of February 2022 (22/2/2022) was a 2sday.)
Wednesday: Woden's day
Latin: dies mercurii, or Hermes (messenger of the gods)
Saxon: Wodnesdaeg - Woden's day (king of the gods)
For the Latin mercurii, it's curious that mercury is liquid at room temperature, yet it's a large solid lump when orbiting close to the super-hot sun!
The Saxon Woden was the god who controlled all the other gods. His number-one mission was to gain all knowledge and wisdom. He visited all four corners of the world to gather information. Nothing could be hidden from him. In fact(!) he even wore out one of his eyes from seeing so much wisdom.
To cover the rather messy dead eye, he wore a large floppy hat and compensated for his sightlessness with blackbird on each shoulder. These birds were his extra eyes and could fly off to spy on people, and then report back to Woden. In this way, Woden knew everything that was going on and people had to be very careful how they behaved. After all, as king of all gods, he could wreak havoc on dissenters in any way he chose.
Here's a thought: Let's rename Wednesday as Webday. The World Wide Web god controls all the other gods. Web's number-one mission is to gain all knowledge and wisdom. He visits all four corners of the world to gather data. Nothing can be hidden from him. In fact he even sacrificed face to face conversations to see the wisdom through virtual forums.
To cover the rather messy bits and bytes, he wears a Macintosh and Windows, and bears Mozilla and Explorer on his shoulders. They are his eyes that spy on people, and then report back to Web. In this way, Web knows everything that's going on and people have to be very careful how they behave. After all, as king of all gods, Web can wreak havoc on dissenters in any way he chooses.
But don't worry; because as with Woden, the web has no supernatural power. The web is an idiot-savant who retains countless bits of information yet understands nothing.
Thursday: Thor's day
Latin: dies jovis - Jove (Jupiter), god of thunder
Saxon: thuresdaeg - Thor's day, god of thunder)
The Latin name gives us "By Jove!" (a shortened form of "By Jehovah!"), exclaimed when astonished by something, instead of "By God!" which may offend. Jove is another name for Jupiter, a god in ancient Rome.
The Saxon Thor predates the Marvel Comics superhero by millennia. Thunder was the sign that Thor was angrily throwing his large hammer across the sky. It's a good idea not to annoy this god. When he comes storming after sinners, the sparks of his chariot wheels create flashes of lightning.
Friday: Fria's day
Latin: dies veneris - Venus or Aphrodite, goddess of love
Saxon: frigedaeg - Freya's day, goddess of love
Frigg was a kind and beautiful Norse goddess and wife of Odin, the most powerful god. Together, their job was to oversee everything that happened in the world and Frigg's specialty was love and marriage.
Interestingly, the 16th century word 'frig' is a coarse euphemism for 'sexual intercourse'.
Saturday: Saturn's day
Latin: dies saturni - Saturn, god of agriculture.
Saxon: Seterne's day, god of agriculture
Greek: Astronomical symbol ♄ represents an agricultural sickle
People believed that the god Saturn controlled the weather and hence the success or failure of crops. Sacrificing a farm animal to Saturni would increase the chances of pleasing the god, resulting in favourable weather and a good crop.
Modern: We seem to have lost faith in Saturn providing us with a good crop and like all the other planets, generally treat them whimsically. Indeed, so discourteously that all the mountains on Saturn's moon Titan have been named after peaks in the Lord of the Rings.
Although our days are named after gods, the names were not regularly capitalized until the 17th century. Relating that prosaicism will do you no favours during dinner conversation, unless your companions are drunk.
The word 'month' stems from 'moon', and 'calendar' stems from calare (to call out), just as the ancient priests did when they announced a new moon. The month names we use were chosen to celebrate Roman deities and emperors. (Similar names are used in other European languages, such as French, German, Italian and Spanish.)
The last four months are just based on a mundane numbering system. The year used to begin in March, so September through to December were months 7 to 10. A numbering system is still used in many cultures today for the whole year. Modern Japanese, for example, has 1-gatsu, 2-gatsu, 3-gatsu ... 12-gatsu. Similarly in Chinese: 1-yuè, 2-yuè, 3-yuè ... 12-yuè.
(Curiously, when Pope Gregory XIII changed the calendar system in 1582 and established the Gregorian calendar with January as the first month of the year, he didn't bother to rename any of these months. December, for example, could have been changed to acknowledge Advent or Christmas with Advenber or Chrisber.)
The length of time between slipping on a banana peel and smacking the pavement:
bananosecond.
What do you call a tense clock?
All wound up.
Why did the boy sit on his watch?
He wanted to be on time.
Why did you throw the clock out the window?
I wanted to see time fly.
By 'pagan', we are taking the widest definition of anything that is not monotheistic
There are a few theories about why the Egyptians used 60 (sexagesimal) as the base for their counting system. Here are a couple of the more popular:
Most of the world now uses the decimal system, ten being the number of our fingers and thumbs. Very handy.
We doubt the Egyptians had 60 fingers and thumbs, but nevertheless, it is likely they used their digits for counting. Each finger (not the thumb) has three bones. By using the tip of the right thumb, you can count by pointing to the each of the three bones of each of the four fingers of the right hand, totalling 12. Having counted up to 12, raise a finger on the left hand, then start counting again to 12 on the right hand. After raising the thumb and all four fingers on the left hand, you've reached 60 (3 x 4 x 5).
Alternatively, they might have counted the average resting heart beat at 60 pulses per minute, and 60 of those, times 24, took exactly one day. What patience!
We think the finger-joint counting method is the most likely.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.
Deut. 5:12-15
1,339 QI Facts To Make Your Jaw Drop by John Lloyd, John Mitchinson & James Harkin (Faber & Faber £9.99)
See also Sun Cross.
